


All I Wanna Do Is Go To You

by Ithinkwehaveanemergency



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Episode: s04e05 Buck Begins, Fluff, M/M, Maybe even mutual pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29499363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithinkwehaveanemergency/pseuds/Ithinkwehaveanemergency
Summary: He directs his gaze to her once more and glares.  "You didn't correct them, did you?"Maddie looks up at him through her lashes and then her eyes roll at his betrayed expression."Well, I was kind of hoping that by the next time you have any contact with them, you'll have pulled your head out of your ass and gotten together with Eddie."OrThe Buckley parents leave town and Buck starts to move on.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 19
Kudos: 581





	All I Wanna Do Is Go To You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tabbytabbytabby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/gifts).



Maddie opens the door to let Buck in with the groceries she'd asked him to pick up for her. He pauses and squints at her too-large smile before sliding past her and setting the bags down on the kitchen counter.

"What is going on with your face right now?" Buck huffs out suspiciously. He grabs a beer from inside one of the bags before moving to go sit at the dinner table.

"Mom and Dad stopped by before heading back out on the road." Maddie sing-songs innocently, the words sounding more joyful than they should for describing a visit from the people who've brought chaos to the past week.

" _O-kay_." Buck draws the word out slowly, popping open the beer and taking a sip. "You going to tell me why you're so entertained by this."

"I _am_ ." Maddie starts putting the groceries away, smile still plastered on her face. "So, they didn't want to put anymore pressure on you after what they put you through this week, but they wanted to know that they think Eddie is a wonderful young man and they're very happy that you found someone who cares about you so much. _And_ they want you to bring him and his adorable son to visit as soon as, and I quote, 'this covid nonsense is over.'"

Buck nearly spits out his beer, and chokes in an effort to swallow it down instead. He coughs and coughs and clears his throat before staring up at his sister wide-eyed.

"Maddie, what the _hell_? What did you tell them!?"

"I didn't say a word!" Maddie cackles. She finishes with the groceries and then washes her hands as Buck leta out a few errant coughs from his choking fiasco. "I swear, I said nothing. They just sat me down all serious and told me they wanted me and you to know they aren't _those_ kind of people. They would never judge people who've found love like you and Eddie have. That, _and again I quote_ , 'love is love.'"

"Oh my f- _Maddie! What!?_ " Buck scrubs at his face in disbelief, red coloring his cheeks in embarrassment. "Why would they-"

"Apparently Eddie talked to them and showed them a lot of pictures of you and Chris together, and well…" Maddie bites her lip as she approaches the dinner table and sits across from her beet-red brother. "You gotta admit that sometimes, you guys look a lot like a family in pictures. They even pointed out Howie's Christmas picture on the mantle while they were here."

Buck's eyes dart over to the photo in question, eyes roving over the members of the 118 until landing on Buck and Eddie in the middle, Chris' arms around Buck's neck as he lifts the kid between the two firefighters so that he fits in frame.

" _Shit_." Buck exhales, prompting a giggle from his sister. He directs his gaze to her once more and glares. "You didn't correct them, did you?"

Maddie looks up at him through her lashes and then her eyes roll at his betrayed expression.

"Well, I was kind of hoping that by the next time you have any contact with them, you'll have pulled your head out of your ass and gotten together with Eddie."

"Maddie, come on." Buck rolls his eyes right back at the one person to whom he's ever admitted his feelings for Eddie out loud. "We've talked about this. He doesn't see me like that. And the last thing I want to do is push him away by making things awkward between us with my apparently obvious _feelings_."

Maddie groans and drops her chin into her palm.

"Why are you like this?!" Maddie sighs. "They didn't even talk to _you_ , you idiot! They got this idea from _Eddie_. Because it's unbearably obvious when he talks about you that he's _hopelessly_ _in love with you_!"

Buck blinks at his sister and then looks down at his beer, furrowing his brow in thought.

"Do you-" He cuts himself off with a sigh and takes a sip of his beer. He looks up at Maddie, fear clear as day on his face. "Do you really think that he could see me as more than his best friend? I mean, we've never talked about… y'know."

Maddie reaches out and rests her hand on his wrist. She smiles at him encouragingly.

"You don't _have_ to say anything about your feelings, sweetheart, that's your call. But there's got to be something to what all of us see when we look at you two. It's not wishful thinking because I'm your sister and want you to get what you want. I mean, Mom and Dad didn't even see the stupid heart eyes you get for him." Maddie grips his wrist tighter when he frowns at her teasing. "They just saw the way he looks when he talks about you and Christopher. And all of us have seen that and thought the same thing they did."

Buck nods and takes another pull of his drink.

"Okay." He agrees quietly. "I'll think about it."

Buck thinks about it all night when he gets home. He even misses when his tablet starts ringing until Albert chucks a pillow at him across the room.

Buck runs to get it before it stops ringing and is met by Christopher's wide grin. It immediately makes him relax and beam at the kid right back.

"Hey bud, sorry about the wait. I didn't hear you calling." Buck goes to sit up against his headboard and prop his tablet on his bent legs. "Whats up?"

"Hi, Buck! I've missed you!" Chris waves and Buck can see that he's sitting in the breakfast nook with the tablet on the table. "Dad told me you were hurt a couple days ago. I wanted to call but it was too late yesterday so he said I could call tonight."

"Aw, thanks Christopher. That's very nice of you. I've missed you too! We haven't had a video call in almost a week. Way too long, yeah?"

"Yeah." Christopher laughs softly and Eddie's torso comes into view as he sets down a sandwich and then crouches so he can get his face on screen.

"Hey there." Eddie flashes a smile that Buck only ever sees directed at him and can't help but let his mind flood with the thoughts Maddie has left in his head.

Buck feels his cheeks heat up because that smile makes his stomach turn anxiously every time, ever since they started hanging out. It took Buck a while to figure out why, but he gets it now and he's long since accepted that it will never stop, even if they know each other the rest of their lives.

"Hi." Buck responds, and he can tell that Eddie senses something is off by the sudden wrinkle between his eyebrows. "So, uh, you guys eating dinner?"

"Yeah. I wanted grilled cheese." Chris nods and grabs for his sandwich. He finishes a small bite and then sets it down again. "Are you okay now, Buck?"

"Yeah!" Buck shakes his head and focuses on Chris. "I was fine. Your dad and the rest of the team saved my life. I mean. It's kind of his job, so let's not give him a big head about it, but-"

"Yeah, well…" Eddie shrugs and smirks as he cuts Buck off. "You were the real hero, man."

Bucks tilts his head shyly and mirrors the man's smirk.

"Dad would never let anything happen to you, Buck." Chris injects before stuffing another bite of grilled cheese in his mouth.

"Yeah. I know that." Buck says the words while looking at Eddie and wishes the other man were there in front of him, hugging him, telling him that himself. "Hey uh, I'll let you finish dinner, but we'll talk tomorrow, yeah? Your dad and I are off work at the same time tomorrow so maybe I can stop by."

"Yeah, sounds good." Eddie answers and Chris cheers with a mouthful of grilled cheese. "See you tomorrow, Buck."

"Yeah. See you soon."

Buck hangs up and tosses his tablet to the side. It lands softly on the sheets and he looks down at the picture of himself, Chris and Carla at the park that makes up his background. Eddie had taken it just before the pandemic. Chris looked so much younger just a year ago, and Buck's heart pangs in longing for the days they saw each other more often.

Things are getting easier now that Buck and Eddie and all of the people they work with are fully vaccinated. Albert is the only one who doesn't have the vaccine, so Buck is still a little weary about how much he visits the Diaz household, but he feels like he's been separated from his family at times, not seeing Chris every day.

Buck stands up with a groan and gets ready for bed. As soon as he's back in bed an hour later, his tablet rings again. When he answers, the screen lights up with the same part of the Diaz household, but with a different person front and center.

"Hey." Buck frowns in confusion at the sight of a now shirtless Eddie Diaz. "Everything okay?"

"Yep." Eddie answers and takes a sip of water from a large glass that Buck knows the man always brings with him to bed every night. "Just wanted to ask you the same thing. You seemed sort of off on the call earlier. Something happen with your parents before they left?"

Buck snorts out a small laugh at how accurate the guess is. Eddie just seems to know these things somehow.

"Uh, yeah, but it's nothing. We're good. They're good. I hope they wait a good long time before they visit again, but everything is okay, I promise."

"Then what's up?" Eddie sets his glass down and crosses his arms across his chest, seemingly determined to get an answer out of his best friend.

"Just…" Buck sighs and scratches at his damp hair. "I'm just stuck in my head right now. I dunno, Eddie. I just… I dunno if I'm ready to talk about it."

"Did you talk to-"

"No it's not like that." Buck smiles, but it's tired and he can tell from his own little reflection in the corner of the screen. "It's not something I need to talk about in therapy, it's just me-stuff."

"I don't think your therapist minds if you talk about 'just me-stuff' considering she's just trying to help you." Eddie makes quotes around the words and Buck smiles wider.

It seems to go like that a lot. Buck will instantly feel better at the littlest things the man does. But Maddie's voice still nags in his ear from earlier and he opens his mouth before he can think better of it.

"Hey, uh… Did you tell my parents stories about me?" Buck rushes the words out and looks away after he's asked, blushing a little.

"Yeah, we all did. Didn't necessarily do it just to rub it in their face that you have a family who takes care of you and loves you when the two of them did such a bad job of it, but hey… it was a bonus." Eddie shrugs, clearly not feeling bad about it, and mostly just saying it to make Buck laugh.

Buck does laugh but then he shakes his head and looks down before he tries again.

"No, I meant...did you tell them stories about _us_? And Christopher?"

Eddie goes a bit quiet, so Buck looks up and finds Eddie staring at him in surprise. Then, the surprise turns to a strange look, like Eddie is staring right through him and seeing something he didn't just a minute before. Finally his face turns soft and understanding, the one he always has when he's trying to get through to Buck.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did." Eddie leans in and stares hard at the screen, at _Buck_ , and speaks soft and slow, like he wants Buck to listen carefully. "I know how it feels to not be such a great parent, Buck. And don't tell me that it's different, because that doesn't matter. It's a feeling that all parents can relate to, whether or not they actually deserve that feeling."

He stops and Buck nods solemnly to show he's still listening.

"I wanted your parents to know that the person they raised turned into an amazing man, whether they had a hand in it or not. They deserve to know how good you are with Christopher and your job and all the little things that make you this person we are all so proud of. That _I_ am so proud to call part of my family."

Buck chokes out a laugh because he kind of feels like crying instead. He doesn't know what to say to any of that so he just nods at Eddie.

"And Buck?"

It takes a second, but Buck clears his throat and gathers himself enough to respond.

"Yeah?"

"We don't have to talk about… the _thing_ that you aren't ready to talk about." Eddie pauses and takes a deep breath. He scrubs the side of his face and sits back again. "But I uh… I've had a lot of time to think this past year, y'know? And whenever you _are_ ready to talk about the _thing_? I, um… I think I can be ready to talk about it, too."

Buck freezes. He stares and stares and can't figure out if Eddie is really implying what Buck _thinks_ he's implying, but there's really no other way to mean that.

"Uh, I-"

"Maybe not over the phone, though?" Eddie raises his eyebrows, gently teasing the speechless blonde.

The lump in Buck's throat gets tighter as he realizes Eddie is really saying what he thinks he's saying. That Eddie knows how Buck feels and he's at the very least open to talking about their relationship. He swallows the lump in his throat down and nods.

"Yeah, okay." Buck smiles shyly. "Maybe we can talk about it sometime soon."

"Whenever you want." Eddie grins back, and for the first time, it looks just as nervous as Buck feels. "I'll let you get to bed. See you at work tomorrow."

"Night." Buck whispers and hangs up before he can do something dumb like confess all of his feelings over a FaceTime call.

He lays there thinking about how surreal the last week has been and then a warmth falls over him when he thinks about Eddie and Christopher and seeing both of them the next day.

He falls asleep with a smile on his face and a lot less worries than he had just a few hours before.


End file.
